A letter to my brothers…

My brothers…

Please be careful. You sound like the All Lives Matter crew when you question why Black Women require advocacy. You too can be an ally if you open your minds, and it would mean a lot.

It’s amazing how many Black men get a little frazzled when they learn that I’m an advocate for women and women of color. They start asking questions like: “what about Black men?”

It’s unfortunate, but there is a nuance between the way Black women are treated and the way Black men are treated in corporate. But this discussion becomes problematic when you think one gender’s troubles cancel out the other. That isn’t it at all.

How hard is it to realize that if one advocates for Breast cancer it is not that you are anti prostate cancer? It’s just that THIS is the 5K I’m running in.

As Black people, yes, we are disenfranchised. But there’s a thing called intersectionality. If you don’t believe a Black man who is LGBTQ or has different abilities doesn’t have double the trouble, then you can’t begin to understand how gender layers on grief for Black women.

It’s particularly odd when it comes up with fellas who are interested in dating. How do you really view your mother, your sister and your daughters? Or how have they conditoined you to see women? Which is it? Can you see them leading a multi-billion dollar company or nah?

And numbers don’t lie. The last time a man asked me “what about Black men,” I told him to go read a book. Data is queen. I’m beginning to treat these brothers like Karens who have questions and feel a dire urge to be centered. Don’t ask the one’s struggling with the troubles. Fix yourself. I can’t do it.

It may sound callous, but at the end of the day, empathy comes from deep within, and it starts with an open mind and open heart. Training someone to tap into that…? Well, I bill for that. Sign up and let’s get to it.

All the best,
Your Sis,
LMS

Brothers… be careful. You sound like the All Lives Matter crew when you question why Black Women require advocacy. You too can be an ally if you open your minds, and it would mean a lot. #nothanks

— L Michelle Smith, Author of that No Thanks book📕 (@LMichelleSpeaks) January 27, 2021

(Adapted from my Twitter thread on 01-27-21)

Read more about how other marginalized people can work against women of color in my book No Thanks: 7 Ways to Say I’ll Just Include Myself.